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Had a great day yesterday. I was productive with work, took a yoga break and then even did an online boot camp. I was thinking this schedule could really be good for me. Then my body started to ache. “Must be the exercise.” I thought to myself. But the aches were not from muscle soreness. They were flu aches. Then the headache came on and the chills. I’ve had a cough as well. Not a dry cough and no sore throat both of which are telltale signs.

As I went to bed burning up and feeling terrible I immediately thought the worse. “This is it. I have the IT.” But then my rational side stepped in . “How could I have it? I have not been close enough to anyone.” And then that irrational little voice spoke up. “Was it the walk at the reservoir, the mail, the packages? What if I have it? What would happen to my husband, to my kids? “

Of course, I woke today feeling just fine. I think it was physical manifestation of the stress of what I have been holding onto over the past 2 weeks.

This is the reality of our lives now. Every cough or news report comes with the worst thoughts. The news is not giving us any hope of this going away anytime soon. We have lost so much of what we took for granted and it is time to grieve the loss of our old lives.

So, take the time to grieve the loss of normalcy, safety, connection. Maybe once we grieve our current situation then we can come together to figure out how to find balance and focus on the gifts this time may bring us.


Published by darlallama

I am a 4th grade teacher, wife, and mother!

One thought on “Mindgames

  1. I felt the fear right along with you, both of being sick and of what happens next. I hope you feel better and that this strange and anxiety-filled time in all of our lives passes quickly!


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